January 2011
29 posts
7 tags
Let's make some memories
When I found out that Twitter had deleted all the private messages she had sent to me, all those precious words I never wanted to read again, I felt like a part of me and a part of her, a part of what I’ve profoundly loved had been erased, lost forever. As if nothing has ever happened. What we have done, what we have felt, what we have said… Nothing exists anymore.
Let’s make...
9 tags
The Story Of A Girl (Pt. 29)
(Part 1 - … - Part 5 - … - Part 10 - … - Part 15 - … - Part 20 - … - Part 25 - Part 26 - Part 27 - Part 28)
The tag was a gift. Her savior hadn’t forgotten her, her savior had heard her cries, her savior had been there, eventually. Her savior had saved her. The tag was a memento. The savior may have been absent, but she wasn’t alone. Not ever. Ubiquity, the attribute of a God....
7 tags
The Story Of A Girl (Pt. 28)
(Part 1 - … - Part 5 - … - Part 10 - … - Part 15 - … - Part 20 - Part 21 - Part 22 - Part 23 - Part 24 - Part 25 - Part 26 - Part 27)
The walls of the abyss were covered with the colors of forgotten memories, and the speed made them but a confused and indistinct blur of painful remembrances. In her ears recurred the echoes of a hundred scoldings and a thousand rejections on a background of voices...
13 tags
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2011-1-23) →
Evanescence (85)
Hannah Fury (33)
Anathema (17)
Green Carnation (15)
Karnivool (15)
Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
10 tags
11 tags
Paralysis
Despite all the pain that I have felt, I’ve never cut. I’ve (almost) never cried. But not because I’m stronger, or less in grief. I barely show anything to those that are around me. I struggle to spill my suffering, my blood on paper. Most of the time I don’t know how I am really feeling or why. Sometimes I have the sensation that there is something I would like to tell,...
1 tag
Thank you
<3
14 tags
Pathetic attempts
I always keep everything. I want to keep everything. And not so that one day I’ll be able to see it again. Actually, I hide these things away, far from my sight. It would be too painful to live those moments and feel those sensations once more. Melancholy and nostalgia would kill me. But I want to know that they are there, kept safe. I want to know that something remained from my past, and...
6 tags
Objective Correlative
Even though there’s nothing here to hurt me, I’m still suffering, I’m still (not) crying, I’m still slowly dying, day after day.
I now own an objective correlative for a person I can’t possibly grasp, and it’s lovely to always have it with me, as if she was next to me, holding my hand all the time, and it’s terribly painful because, every time I look,...
5 tags
4 tags
I'm not giving up yet
Hope has somehow come back in the form of a letter and the memento of a TWLOHA bracelet (which is now one of the most precious things I have, together with my Ipod, my signed cds and a few other things), which I have no intention of ever taking off. It’s almost as if she has answered my “Rise Against” post, even before I had actually posted it. I won’t erase...
11 tags
Long and meaningless stream of consciousness...
I’m sitting here in my room, as always. Alone, as always. Music plays, as always. Anathema’s Hindsight. Even if I don’t pay much attention, some words hit me like thunders in a dark night. In my hear, it’s the lightning that follows. An image, a memory. Regret and nostalgia. I don’t even know what I’m going to write actually. All I know is that this night, even...
5 tags
12 tags
Colorful Smile
This world is losing its color without you. I had always assumed color was a property of the objects, but now all that’s left are shades of gray. You have gifted me with wings before leaving. Why? Did you really think I would have gone away, flown to another world, just as colorless as this one? I wouldn’t choose heaven if I could, I wouldn’t choose Eden. I will stay here and...
10 tags
How could you?
It never ceases to amaze me, how I could feel your hand caressing my cheek and drying my eyes, nullifying thousand of miles of distance. I refuse to believe you sent me nothing but a long series of 0s and 1s. There was something more. An invisible red thread that connected your ring finger to mine and mine to yours. And then, your heart to mine and mine to yours. I could feel it so clearly…...
13 tags
7 tags
Dead Words
Another day, filled with words that slip away. I take leaves and fill them with crossing-outs. Underneath, stories that will never see the end, verbs that will never meet their objects, subjects left dying without a purpose in their lives, protagonists abandoned, free to leave and find a better pen. Instead, I’m stuck here. The moonlight filters among the trees, now leafless, and shines on...
6 tags
Goodbye
Being the kind of person that always wants to keep everything, to hold everything and never throw away anything, it is kind of hard for me to ever leave something. I’m an idealist, and it always hurts when I have to give up to the truth. Plus, I’m easily nostalgic about what I leave behind. So, it’s not been an easy decision, the one to leave the project I myself had created last...
13 tags
Words, words...
Is it them that make me choke? Or is it their absence? I don’t know if they get stuck in the path or if they were never born from my heart. But I do know they don’t come out as they used to anymore. (When did they use to?) Maybe I’m sick, Maybe I’m not and this is my normality (Who am I supposed to be?) and words were just a temporary anomaly. Unintentional spasms of an...
4 tags
9 tags
10 tags
9 tags
18 tags
10 tags
9 tags
13 tags
The Story Of A Girl (Pt. 27)
(Part 1 - … - Part 5 - … - Part 10 - … - Part 15 - … - Part 20 - Part 21 - Part 22 - Part 23 - Part 24 - Part 25 - Part 26)
Surrounded and helpless, all the girl could do was close her eyes, hoping that it would all somehow disappear. She dreamed of dying and resuscitating, and the first thing she would have seen would have been her savior, whom she would have faithfully follow, for...
11 tags
