February 2012
8 posts
11 tags
Falling Apart
The moon is smiling high above I look at her and play with strings, vocals and no words I sing for you, for us for me alone a story of everyone
The moon’s still smiling but with her eyes concealed; I wish, I wish I could see and she could see
But the ripples in the water blur the reflection, dropping pieces of you, of us. The back of a stranger, still I write my goodbye.
6 tags
Exile
With you, I only share the space; your space and you have invaded it. I exist in a different bubble; spiky shatters within unbreakable crystal. And trust me, every step hurts as I try to quickly slip away unnoticed, running away from your laughter and painful happiness.
The chains of fingers reaching out for fingers… Why do you let me run away?
Eyes to the ground, head in the hood and suffocating,...
8 tags
Making up
I fall in black oblivion, missing the air to pretend I’m just flying. I rush, can’t stop, missing the moments of love, as the black monster eats the crumbs and my way home. It ate the moon and its tears, leaving only a cruel, impious sun that burns my flesh and cannot warm my heart. I run from the nothing, to no destination; I’m lost, and I don’t know how to spell it. Is it too late to cry for the...
10 tags
Distracted
Your heart still beats (but how can you know? if your veins are dis- connected…)
But is it for Love or does the brain remind it to like a clock?
Do you live in the Soul or in the network of nerves?
Is your blood pushed into existence or is it flowing running towards l i f e ?
6 tags
Better me
I’ll sleep in a river and be washed away. Like the water I’ll become alive, and never twice the same. I’ll become the tears pressing at my eyes and hoping to fall. Please drink me, never forget, and tell me you won’t leave. Your words grasp a better me. My soul is in your eyes. I tore mine out because I couldn’t see. Your hand is my guide. Save me with a caress, or kill me in a blink, just don’t...
9 tags
Wishful Wishing
And we will finally come here. I will be leading, making haste. We will finally come here, and you will close the door behind the both of us. I will have already left my bags somewhere, and before you will even have had the time to turn around, I will take you and hold you between my arms, my head above yours, your face pressed against my shoulder. My left shoulder.
You can let your bags fall on...
8 tags
(and not me)
I shrink from your gaze pure and yet purely cruel like true beauty.
My shoes running are my applause but like your audience I’ll be crying because of your voice
I love you for being you and I hate you for being you (and not me)
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I know that I suck at writing now. I don’t know if it’s only lack of practice, after all I never thought I was good anyway, but I didn’t remember being this bad…
But I miss writing so much that I think I’ll keep writing anyway.
Also, I promised…
January 2012
14 posts
11 tags
Sing
I don’t want to speak unless I’m singing. I think I damned my voice in God’s name. In God’s place. (And god is everywhere I am, looking over me like the brain looks over the heart) I lived in a church and prayed in silence to a dead man.
But now my tears cry. They cry rebellion. My tears cry for water, like a river wants the ocean, even if there are deserts in between. There are always deserts,...
8 tags
Complete
You will slip from my hopeless fingers, like water; but why should I keep you in my hands, as if mine and not me? I shall drink you and all your tears before they hit the floor. I shall kiss your smiles until they are my lips, and the Gods will be defeated when I remember you as me.
8 tags
Pre-Socratic Philosophy
Pre-Socratic Philosophers looked for the essence of the universe. What is there, underlying all things, just at the heart of the universe? What remains after all has changed, evolved, aged, weathered, withered; when all is destroyed and died and yet the universe remains “alive”?
“That from which is everything that exists and from which it first becomes and into which it is rendered at last, its...
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Oceanic
Her Lips to my Ear Whisper The Sounds of the Sea (Limpid cadence hiding Passionate currents)
Deep in her Eyes The Sirens are calling Enthralled I set sail and Hope to be drowned in the Lull of her Waves.
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Hush, Hush
myinkstainedheart:
From where your tears fell I shall kiss each once, and down where they run I shall will my lashes to erase their paths as well. Then I shall place my ear against your chest, listening for cries while my head is pressed, if there is a cry, I’ll settle on your collarbone, to sing to your heart ‘till it ceases its moan.
My favourite tumblr poetess <3
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“Among many other things, this - that nature has adjudged us men to be creatures...”
– Longinus, On the Sublime
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“INTERNETS, 18th of January 2012.
PRESS RELEASE, FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE.
Over a...”
– The Pirate Bay Press Release
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“Children have a master to teach them; grown-ups have poets.”
– Aristophanes, Frogs
4 tags
Nobody
You wake up. You shower. You have breakfast. You do the laundry. You study. You work. You have lunch. You write an email. You study some more. You work some more. You do the shopping. You have dinner. You read a book; or watch a film. You know, just to pass the time. For a moment you think about your diary, and how the last entry must have been a month ago. But you don’t want to...
8 tags
Lonely Piano Notes
Lonely piano notes, falling in ripples against a background of daily distracted rush. A secret whispered, unheard. I’m thirsty, and these are my tears, dropped in puddles of mud and lost along the way.
9 tags
Dust
I want to feel a passion for the things I like, and stop feeling it for these things I don’t really like. Does this sentence even make sense? Let’s make it different: I want to like the things I know I like. But perhaps I’m confusing terms. When one says he likes writing, it’s a lie. What he likes, is the feeling after finishing writing, or the product. The act itself is a pain. At most, one can...
9 tags
Loss
I wonder if I’m the only one feeling like this. I know I’m not, but sometimes I can’t help feeling it. The absurdity of being united by a common feeling of absolute loneliness. And then, this pervasive sense of a loss; of meaning, of passion, of inspiration. I’m a negative, my voice and heart beat in antiphase. I’m antimatter.
Perhaps it’s just the people I’m surrounded by? I can’t think lowly of...
6 tags
Loser
The point is, you can’t expect me to believe you. You wrote a book, you wrote a song, whatever. You made it. You did what I can’t seem to do, and then you look back and paternalizingly tell me that I can do it. No, you can do it. That I can, it’s still to prove. It’s so easy to speak from the privileged position up there, as if you still understood. You don’t, and I’m not blaming you. If I got to...
7 tags
“She would smile. To begin with I lost the memory of her eyes, then the memory of...”
– J. P. Sartre, Nausea
December 2011
5 posts
6 tags
Unrest
There are songs in tears uncried. There are screams in eyelids shut, when weariness is a false consolation. The room is quiet, the pillow dry but the breath is uneven and the night alive in the heart. The cold slips under the covers, under the clothes, under the skin. Floating on a starless ocean and the unrest of waves, ready for a tempest that never comes; clinging to a distant horizon that...
6 tags
The Cave
Aside: I am aware of the awful quality of this bunch of words (and of the ones to come). But I haven’t written in so long, and I am trying to let whispers slip through the wall of my anxiety, so in this moment simply writing is an achievement in itself, beside the quality. Especially since it scares me so much, every time I try. Quality, hopefully, will come (I was almost saying again, as if...
1 tag
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Become Fire
Breathe the seconds in. Every one of them. The passion is in giving meaning, when a book is not written pages, but a leather-bound heart to love and assimilate into your own. Breathe in the scent of chamomile and wash away the mud from your shoes. Breathe in, and never breathe out, but to let go. Keep your memories, but keep them in the past. Don’t forget that you can run into ghosts and go...
There are words that press too hard on my heart, words that maybe I need to say. But if I speak them, I know no one will come to balance them, and I can’t do it on my own. I am already bent under their weight. I don’t want to let them out, they already are heavy and real enough for me. Letting them out will only highlight the emptiness around here. I will keep reloading the page, only...
November 2011
13 posts
9 tags
Twilight
Reading Robinson Crusoe for university, I got to the point when he even thanks God for his state, alone on an island, with enough to eat and drink and live safely forever.
Then I closed the book for a while and wondered why that little figure that should be the model for the middle class would ever like to live alone on that island for the rest of his days. What should he live for? He pictured a...
3 tags
“Thank you…
“look thrice, Imma Let you finish, but…”
Yup. Yesterday...”
– Geoff & Tom & Tucker & Steve & Andrew & Tim & Lukas (Thursday)
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“I like any book that makes me feel like I’m in a sea.
Swallowing in...”
– Black Lagoon, Ep. 20 {The Second Barrage Ep. 8} - Translation by Kickassanime.org
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“Another belief of mine: that everyone else my age is an adult, whereas I am...”
– Margaret Atwood
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Anonymous asked: don't worry little angel, i may be invisible but i never left your life.
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Anonymous asked: I'm so sorry little angel. but you can do this, and you will. beneath your fear and struggles you are a very strong human being and can do this. I am rooting for you, and holding you to your success, sending my love anonymously. And no, I cannot tell you who I am nor can I tell you why I cannot.
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Anonymous asked: Relax, little one, everything will be okay. Take a moment and bask in the knowledge that you are loved. And I can all but assure you that you are constantly on the minds of your loved ones and of those who love you. Separation means nothing. A heart can never leave the one it loves.
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Anonymous asked: Yes I know you. But I cannot tell you who I am, I suppose that just means that you will have to be comforted in the fact that I am here alone, I do not expect you to present your feelings in an open forum if you are not entirely comfortable. Maybe whisper them aloud in the quiet of your room, even if I cannot hear the words in spirit I am listening.
1 tag
Anonymous asked: I have faith in you. You can do this, and of course some one cares. Someone who will never not care is here watching over the angel. Also remember that even if the comfort you find is temporary it can be a big step to making you comfortable to get to a point where you find a lasting pleasure and can become fully healed. Don't take it for granted just because it is small.
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Anonymous asked: what happened little angel? You were doing so very well for a while and now you seem to have fallen apart again, tell me your story if you please?
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Anonymous asked: There will always be tears over the end of such a beautiful creature as you. Help will always be given to those who ask for it.
6 tags
“On the girl’s brown legs there were many small white scars. I was...”
– The Other Hand, by Chris Cleave
October 2011
17 posts
3 tags
Day 29
Sometimes I wish what I know I do not want. But, for just a second, it seems like it’d be everything I need.
Memory. Memory is what gives us the chance to look at the future. It’s what makes us remember our final end while we go through all the steps in between. I’ve spent the last summer trying to understand this, trying to make my memories something I could live with. My...
7 tags
Faded
Bent Like a flower’s grace Under a drop of rain
Swept Like petals In the storm
I am the colours Washed out Lost In the rivulets That run down Blind Down To oblivion
1 tag
Anonymous asked: I already know that you have a beautiful soul from your words. And I know for sure that you're beautiful on the outside as well because as you've said, you don't see your own work as beautiful but it truly is. I don't need a picture of you to know for certain that you're an incredibly lovely person in and out. And actually I follow them all, and still think your work is...
1 tag
Anonymous asked: I apologize, I didn't mean to offend you. I respect your wishes if you choose not to post a picture. I've been a fan of your blog for quite a while, since I first started mine, and I think your writing is magical. Everything you post I read, and is in my eyes considered gorgeous. When I read the piece about not being able to write anything I kind of wished I could see your face, because...
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Anonymous asked: Could you post the face behind these magically beautiful words that grace my dash?
6 tags
Life
Everyday life is a list; actually, an endless series of to-do lists, worries, chores, timetables, deadlines, bills. And cleaning, because everyday life gathers dust. And it is the dust itself: coming from nowhere, going nowhere, without a point, a meaning or a plan, but still, inevitably there. It is all those insignificant things that slowly pile up and clog the sink, and before you know it,...
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“Most days I wish I was a British pound, instead of an African girl. Everyone...”
– The Other Hand, by Chris Cleave
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Present Situation
I am sorry I’m not tumbling as much as I used to (and would like to) It’s not always been easy to me not to feel constrained by something inside of me about what I should post and what not, even if I liked it. I’m trying to make it more personal, even with some reblogs of things I like (no, this will not become a reblog-tumblr. Just a few, carefully handpicked images and such,...
6 tags
